through invisible barriers and unseen boundaries…

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)

CASIS Saturday Night Lecture

Currently listening to Prof. Dr. Muhammad Zainy Uthman, Director of Centre for Advanced Studies on Islam, Science & Civilisation giving his lecture on the connection between science and Islam and how it has affected the world for the past thousand years.

The last time i came for the same lecturer, I saw Prof. Syed Muhammad al Naquib bin Ali al-Attas delivering lecture himself. Due to my limited memory capacity, I could not recall much what was lectured on that night. But I must say, tonight’s lecturer is quite refreshing.

I’m not sure how to digest all these information yet but i can be sure that tonight’s event will be a catalyst to more night’s lecturer in the weeks to come.




first day of Ramadhan 1436

i have nothing much to put up this time. after a long pause (even forgotten my wordpress password), i think i should start scratching the wordpress wall again. it has been left unattended for too long. the wall has become to alien to me due to the long absence.

anyway, i want to take this opportunity to say “Ramadhan Kareem” to all who is fasting. may this year Ramadhan brings us to greater height. ameen.


the world mourns for MH370…

it has been more than 2 weeks since it was first reported missing. during this period, every single person who are aware of this incident couldn’t avoid asking the typical questions “what actually happened?”, “where is it now?”, “how can we find it?”, “who is responsible for this tragedy?”, and many more.

unfortunately, in trying to answer some these questions and at the same time, attempting to comprehend the complexity of the issue, we forgot that there is so much question can be asked and there will always be limitation to what we can comprehend about this issue since very little information is available for many of us to absorb and understand. nevertheless, as curiosity continues to grow, lets not allow it to overshadow our rational and divert us from looking straight into the matter. it is important that we must now and continue to be able to separate between what is factual about the incident and what is not.

it will be wrong for me to say that i understand the feeling of the people who are at risk losing their family members who were on board of MH370, yet, i would like to share my sympathy to with them. lets continue praying for the best result and not abandon our hope in finding the truth of the incident.

my hope and prayers are with those who are directly affected by the incident. may God be with you and grant you the unexceptional strength during this difficult time.

– fatmax

new request…

i got a new assignment. a simple one. perhaps this experience could be used for my future undertaking.

i’m being asked to do a short write up on social political study from the perspective of a marketing research agency. based on our past experiences, it should not be hard for me to do a simple write up. but the question is, where do i start? what would be my coverage? how should i present it?

perhaps i should not spend so much time contemplating how to do the write up. perhaps what i should do is straight away jot down all the points that i want to share in my write up. that would be helpful.

damn, the more i think about it, the more time i delay. let’s start doing it as soon as possible since i have another task that need my immediate attention.



dotted lines…

St. Davis Park, Hobart

I’ve been listening to all sorts of music lately. From Metallica to DJ Tiesto, Classical Bach-Baroque to Indo-Pop, I somehow couldn’t understand what caused me to behave in such a way. Listening to many sometimes doesn’t allow me to enjoy what I hear. But i know it is just a mere exercise that I do in order to take my mind away from the reality. Short while but worthwhile, that’s for sure. But one thing I can safely say, at this point of time, my mood has been changing quite rapidly in the last few months. Whether I’m currently going through a period of melancholy or extreme happiness, I just couldn’t tell.

As I moved myself from one dimension to another, every time, I find I’m not doing it because of natural tendency but because I was directed to move towards it. Have I lost my freedom? Have I sold my soul to the unknown devil or worst case, to the known devil? I’m not sure. I seriously couldn’t recognize the kind of life that I’m currently living in. But I do know that I still have the guiding light that have been lighting up my way all this while and a strong stick that never fails to put me on my foot again every time  i fell during this journey. Thus, suck-in to those known and unknown devils in their endeavor to deviate me from my journey.

Personally, I would like to speak out things but I kind of have this suspicious that devils are everywhere. They are constantly praying for the right time to catch me when I’m at my worst situation. For many months, I can’t hear any other voices except for my own voice. Am I at the liberty of making the decision to hear what I want to hear? So far, I’ve been allowing myself to hear to others only when I know they are forcing me to hear them. So I’m still a free man as all I care to think.

I would like to be at the position where I have the liberty to call for all the shots. Never have to worry for what those demons would think and react to my decision. Yes, I do want and extremely craving for that liberty to ponder and to wonder at everything that I sees in the jungle without having to worry of anything when I do this activity alone. Forever, I missed the moment walking through Saint Davis Park when I need a dose of tranquility or jog next to Lower Sandy Bay beach every time when I started questioning myself whether the world is round or flat.

This is not a random rambling but it is the picture of my current life. Perhaps, the dark clouds are here for a brief and I soon shall be able to enjoy the bright blue sky and taste the warmth of the sun on my skin once they are gone. Insyallah…



isn’t it strange…

isn’t it strange when your mind is telling you something that is totally the opposite of the reality?

isn’t it strange when your mind is trying to tell you something that you think is impossible?

isn’t it strange when you start thinking that your mind is correct and people around you is wrong?

isn’t it strange when you start acknowledging your mind instead of people around you?

isn’t strange when you find talking to your mind it is more relaxing and expanding?

isn’t it strange when you start ignoring how people behave because you mind is telling you that motive is more “real”?

isn’t it strange that you still allow others to dictate your behavior when you know your mind is talking to you frankly and honestly?

isn’t it strange to know that you forgot what people have said a minute ago and you remember every bit of story that your mind is telling you when that person was talking to you?

isn’t it strange when you find yourself struggling to commit to human but easily persuaded by your mind?

isn’t it strange when you got to know that your are more incline towards mind-oriented and less people-oriented?

isn’t it strange when you see others as a noise and you mind is the clear voice?

isn’t it strange when you got to know your trusted friend is your mind and people around you are never your friend?



and the last strange thing is;

isn’t it strange when people tell you that you are losing your mind when you know the fact that most of your time you are well spent with your mind?


for the last few years, this is what i’ve been struggling with. struggling to find all the best possible answer to all my questions regarding to my mind.



Wednesday, 29th May 2013