no junction, no compass yet i lured myself into another life journey…

sometimes we try our best to fulfill the dream of others, compromising our own dreams. we do so because we believe that when others are happy, we should also. Let it be  whether we like it or not, we pursue the dream of others than ours.

i believe too, that in order for us to achieve happiness, others around us need to be happy first. somehow, that’s not the question. to be happy has always remain the aim of a man, even a mad man knows how to differentiate between happy and sad, and which one will be his preferences. however, the means of achieving it, the happiness is more important. to be honest i’m clueless about this happiness issue.

i’ve tried, many times, to entertain people around me hoping that they will feel happy and later i will feel it too. but as time moves, people change as well as their happiness understanding. hence what i do today might not be relevant again tomorrow in order to make them happy. i still believe it is possible for me to achieve that happiness for as long as i do not sacrifice my self all the time. a wise man once told me “you need to learn how to love yourself first before you start loving some one else. If you fail to do so, you will not only destroy yourself but you will also destroy people around you”. i guess it’s true. but being raised as a person who was trained by a system, to ‘put forward others first than yourself’, i can see that i’m heading no where close to reach the real meaning of happiness.

sometimes its ok if you put yourself in a middle of a junction, rather than a straight, provided you know which junction to follow when you want to embark into a life journey. but it will be tough journey when you put yourself  in  a middle of a desert, not knowing your direction yet there are no junctions for you to follow. in the end, you will be walking in a circle, a really big circle where in the end of the day, you will regret yourself for making that first step. I’ve gone through this before yet i’ve to go through it again. whether this is to test my maturity in dealing with problems, i’m still puzzled. sometimes i question myself why do i embark into such journey where the uncertainties that lies ahead are so obvious. why dont i just settle everything for once and forever. i wish i could. but it seems like, so far, all i know is how to plan but i do not know how to execute my plan. i think i need to re-study my plan again.

what ever it is, as far as i know, i’m not giving up yet. i will continue with what i’ve executed and stick with what i’ve planned. i can only plan, but in the end, i believe only allah’s knows best what is good for me and what is bad for me.

 

saat ini…

Dalam diam aku mencari
Dalam bersuara aku memerhati
Dalam berfikir aku berperang
Dalam berjalan aku terbang

Yang dicari terus menghilang
Yang dijumpai terus menyepi
Yang tertinggal terus mengejar
Yang dibawa terus mati

Apa hidup hanya sementara
Apa dosa pengimbang pahala
Apa haram lawannya halal
Apa putih itu kawannya hitam

Soalan demi soalan
Pertanyaan demi pertanyaan
Hanya satu impian si polan
Kenal erti apa itu kehidupan

 

which one will win your heart and how do you worth you money…

I was surprised to know that in Selangor, any new application for new cybercafé has been frozen due to unknown reason. I presume the state government has their own rational to impose such restriction and I’m not going to argue about that. Whether it’s a good or bad decision, it’s up to the citizen of the state to think and to judge the state government, consciously using their conscience.

What I’m interested to know now is how we, as the citizen of Malaysia prioritize our needs. I was surprised when I first came back to Malaysia in March, to see the amount of ASTRO disk around Klang Valley. Even worse when I passed across few low cost apartments or flats around Klang Valley, the outlook of ASTRO satellite disk affix to the wall of the building resemble the outlook of mushrooms on a dead tree trunk. So far, every house that I went possesses at least one ASTRO decoder. Yes, I understand. ASTRO is ‘the place’ where people can go for ‘travelling’, for ‘studying’ and even to participate in ‘sports game’ (remember Euro 2008 when ASTRO ‘built’ ASTRO STADIUM with multiple screens). That’s how powerful ASTRO can be in Malaysian life.

However, when it comes to the discussion of internet connection at home many would come out with reasons such as “I don’t have a computer at home”, “It’s too expensive to have an internet at home”, “I prefer to use office internet. Free and faster than home connection”, and most of the time, the common one is “Internet is too dangerous for children. You know lah all this porno stuff that’s available on the net”. Well I guess what you see on the HBO, Cinemax or Animal Planet sometimes gives you more information about porno (anyway, according to Babylon-Concise Oxford English Dictionary, the meaning of porno is “television programmes, books, etc. regarded as catering for an obsessive interest in a particular subject”) than the internet. So, which one carry more weight when it comes to the accessibility of pornography material.

After all, what we crave from both is information. But don’t you think that television only provides one-way communication compare to the internet. It’s going to be interesting to know how people would like to spend their extra money for such facility.

p/s: I have a question to ask. A simple question and you don’t have to scratch your head to answer this question. The question goes like this: If you have extra $100 every month from you salary and you want to spend it badly, which one would you purchase:

1.    ASTRO (Family package + mini packages + Sports) = RM59.95; or

2.    STREAMYX (Streamyx 1.0Mbps with 1.0Mbps download speed and 384kbps upload speed with MODEM) = RM99

Happy answering!!!

 

jargons that bothers me, a lot…

superior or supremacy ? what does these two words mean to you? does it sound frightening or does it help to boost your self-esteem?

if the former, than you must have gone through a very bad experience of discrimination. if the latter, i presume you must have taste the sweetness of power and glory and now you hesitate to let it go.

but morally, how do we interpret such understanding?…

 

according to investopediadotcom…

Credit Crunch

What Does it Mean?
An economic condition where investment capital is difficult to obtain. Banks and investors become wary of lending funds to corporations; this drives up the price of debt products for borrowers.

taken from here at Investopedia.com

Recession

What Does it Mean?
A significant decline in activity across the economy, lasting longer than a few months. It is visible in industrial production, employment, real income and wholesale-retail trade. The technical indicator of a recession is two consecutive quarters of negative economic growth as measured by a country’s gross domestic product (GDP).

taken from here at Investopedia.com

Bailout

What Does it Mean?
A situation in which a business, individual or government offers money to a failing business in order to prevent the consequences that arise from a business’s downfall. Bailouts can take the form of loans, bonds, stocks or cash. They may or may not require reimbursement.

taken from here at Investopedia.com

so, for a simple calculation, we can see that [CREDIT CRUNCH + RECESSION] = BAILOUT; well, i guess i dont have to be an economist, at least a prominent economist in order to formulate such formula. another thing, the bailout system “may or may not require reimbursement”. which one carry more weight, ‘MAY’ or “MAY NOT”? i’m puzzled. after all, “we” as the general population, have to unite in order to bailout all these nasty and greedy businessmen through our tax money for our future which will be more or less similar to the previous one. i do hope that after this, business people will stop and slow down a little bit when it comes to the discussion on how to make profits over the general population. it seems like we are the savior of your greediness and not the other way round…what a pity…at least a shame…

 

700 billions???

whoa, thats heaps of money. gees, i wish i can get at least 0.1 percent from that amount just to clear some of my debts. but who am i?

i’m not a blood-sucking bank owner that continues to suck peoples money no matter what happen or a money-laundering businessman making profits on top of another profits or at least, at least a greedy stock exchange broker that cant stop making speculations causing others pay more than what they should pay. i’m just another laymen living his own personal life that no matter what happen to the world economy, still have to pay off his debts (yes, all without discounts or bailout from the government) or else live the rest of his life behind bars. what a shame…

i’m just wondering, where the hell they got the money from? are we allowed to ask this question? i’m curious…