1. Phlegmatic

2. Melancholy

i did a personality profile test and i got this as

my result. seems like what i’m doing know is totally

different from my personality. hmmm…

communication is the reaction that we received…

its going to be historical. its going to be memorable. yet the future remained unknown for the most of us who are being dictated by our consciousness, drive by our emotional and lead by our ignorance. while the understanding of conscience always lead to conflicts, conflicts can always be avoided  if and if only if, in depth we know what constitute conscience and not just a mere definition of it.

i’m eager to see what tomorrow brings yet i’m afraid if what i experienced yesterday was the best. today is about to end and at the soonest, we are going to see a new man standing on a big plateau on top of a hill, taking his vow promising for a better tomorrow yet will it be his. my best wishes goes to him and his family. hope the new dawn that we are about to see would not blinded us from accepting what is reality and what a utopia can be.

so be it mr. obama. again, my best wishes goes to you and your family. may the new dawn leads us to a harmonious land called earth.

regards,

fat max

“Thus the entry of each of the belligerents was determined by considerations of national security and national power. If, as the optimistic Cobdenites of the nineteenth century believed, trade was a bond of interest and friendship between nations, Germany and Britain should not have found themselves on opposing sides, and Germany should have been on excellent terms with most of her European neighbors.”

David Thomson, World History 1914-1968, The First World War, 1914-1918, Oxford University Press, 1969, pp 40

The country that connects Indo-China countries and the South East Asia countries declared state of emergency this morning. While the captain of the country is currently placed in a very strategic point of exit of the country, I believe he will not abandon the ship before the owner of the ship requires him to do so. The question of whether he will be ask to abandon the ship now or later still open for speculation, I wonder how the owner of the ship will respond towards the demand put forward by the passengers against the captain of the ship. So far, the ship has seen three different captains yet the passengers remain unhappy. It is impossible to ask the passengers to leave the ship if they are not pleased with the captain however; it would be unrealistic too to keep on changing the captain just because the passengers are not happy with him. As the passengers are more loyal to the owner instead of the captain, which is acceptable, I wonder how far this situation can remain “under control”. Considering the current global financial turmoil, to have another coup would put the company into an acute situation hence this will also put another regional player under the limelight. Having the hold over the most strategic location in S.E.A, this ship is presumed to face tough situation in the next few months if the current ‘in-house’ crisis reaches its boiling point before time.

While this part of the region remains critically uncertain, the other side of the region is also facing tough times. Last weeks, this ship was given a big applause by the media for their victory to undertake the sea pirates. Seen as a major breakthrough by many that concerned, this week the same ship is facing another critical moment, domestically. As they are busy battling with the sea pirates offshore to safeguard their energy interest, onshore, the situation with the land pirates has escalated to a new juncture. As the battle with the land pirates remains vague, the number of casualties continues to amplify and the identity of the ‘real’ culprit is still remain unknown in spite of the responsible claim made by an extremist yesterday. As the current crisis involves foreign hostages as well as foreign terrorists, the captain of the ship is bound to make prompt decision considering the domestic interest without inviting foreign assistant.

Are we seeing a reshuffle in international politics as well as the international security? With my limited knowledge and here I am, admitting my weaknesses, I believe I’m observing something that I would not want to observe. While the region managed to shield itself from the recent global financial attack, I’m not sure about this one thus I would avoid from commenting further. Let’s hope and see if the regional body is capable to handle such delicate issue shrewdly as well as tackling the real culprit. Talking about international politics, recently we are seeing a lot of new and promising world leaders such as Barrack Obama, Kevin Rudd, Nicholas Sarchozy and many others who emerged to replace the old and soon to be expired regime leader and I continue asking myself “Are we going to see the re-emergence of the old term of ‘the new world order’?”…

while we in malaysia struggle to understand the meaning of independence as well as practicing it, others from the other side of the world are now happily surfing on the new wave of change, thanks to the recent event in America. although the wave of change looks promising as if the wave is still far from the shore, we must never forget that sooner or later, it will hit the shore. unless if the wave change its appearance into a tsunami, then we might witnessing something different. anyway, i found a ’surfer’ today who believe that the wave he is riding now, can and should be utilize by his nation in order to find the right shore to land on, name ‘The First World’ shore.

have a read here or you can click to this link to go directly to the source. happy reading.

sometimes we try our best to fulfill the dream of others, compromising our own dreams. we do so because we believe that when others are happy, we should also. Let it be  whether we like it or not, we pursue the dream of others than ours.

i believe too, that in order for us to achieve happiness, others around us need to be happy first. somehow, that’s not the question. to be happy has always remain the aim of a man, even a mad man knows how to differentiate between happy and sad, and which one will be his preferences. however, the means of achieving it, the happiness is more important. to be honest i’m clueless about this happiness issue.

i’ve tried, many times, to entertain people around me hoping that they will feel happy and later i will feel it too. but as time moves, people change as well as their happiness understanding. hence what i do today might not be relevant again tomorrow in order to make them happy. i still believe it is possible for me to achieve that happiness for as long as i do not sacrifice my self all the time. a wise man once told me “you need to learn how to love yourself first before you start loving some one else. If you fail to do so, you will not only destroy yourself but you will also destroy people around you”. i guess it’s true. but being raised as a person who was trained by a system, to ‘put forward others first than yourself’, i can see that i’m heading no where close to reach the real meaning of happiness.

sometimes its ok if you put yourself in a middle of a junction, rather than a straight, provided you know which junction to follow when you want to embark into a life journey. but it will be tough journey when you put yourself  in  a middle of a desert, not knowing your direction yet there are no junctions for you to follow. in the end, you will be walking in a circle, a really big circle where in the end of the day, you will regret yourself for making that first step. I’ve gone through this before yet i’ve to go through it again. whether this is to test my maturity in dealing with problems, i’m still puzzled. sometimes i question myself why do i embark into such journey where the uncertainties that lies ahead are so obvious. why dont i just settle everything for once and forever. i wish i could. but it seems like, so far, all i know is how to plan but i do not know how to execute my plan. i think i need to re-study my plan again.

what ever it is, as far as i know, i’m not giving up yet. i will continue with what i’ve executed and stick with what i’ve planned. i can only plan, but in the end, i believe only allah’s knows best what is good for me and what is bad for me.

Dalam diam aku mencari
Dalam bersuara aku memerhati
Dalam berfikir aku berperang
Dalam berjalan aku terbang

Yang dicari terus menghilang
Yang dijumpai terus menyepi
Yang tertinggal terus mengejar
Yang dibawa terus mati

Apa hidup hanya sementara
Apa dosa pengimbang pahala
Apa haram lawannya halal
Apa putih itu kawannya hitam

Soalan demi soalan
Pertanyaan demi pertanyaan
Hanya satu impian si polan
Kenal erti apa itu kehidupan

I was surprised to know that in Selangor, any new application for new cybercafé has been frozen due to unknown reason. I presume the state government has their own rational to impose such restriction and I’m not going to argue about that. Whether it’s a good or bad decision, it’s up to the citizen of the state to think and to judge the state government, consciously using their conscience.

What I’m interested to know now is how we, as the citizen of Malaysia prioritize our needs. I was surprised when I first came back to Malaysia in March, to see the amount of ASTRO disk around Klang Valley. Even worse when I passed across few low cost apartments or flats around Klang Valley, the outlook of ASTRO satellite disk affix to the wall of the building resemble the outlook of mushrooms on a dead tree trunk. So far, every house that I went possesses at least one ASTRO decoder. Yes, I understand. ASTRO is ‘the place’ where people can go for ‘travelling’, for ‘studying’ and even to participate in ‘sports game’ (remember Euro 2008 when ASTRO ‘built’ ASTRO STADIUM with multiple screens). That’s how powerful ASTRO can be in Malaysian life.

However, when it comes to the discussion of internet connection at home many would come out with reasons such as “I don’t have a computer at home”, “It’s too expensive to have an internet at home”, “I prefer to use office internet. Free and faster than home connection”, and most of the time, the common one is “Internet is too dangerous for children. You know lah all this porno stuff that’s available on the net”. Well I guess what you see on the HBO, Cinemax or Animal Planet sometimes gives you more information about porno (anyway, according to Babylon-Concise Oxford English Dictionary, the meaning of porno is “television programmes, books, etc. regarded as catering for an obsessive interest in a particular subject”) than the internet. So, which one carry more weight when it comes to the accessibility of pornography material.

After all, what we crave from both is information. But don’t you think that television only provides one-way communication compare to the internet. It’s going to be interesting to know how people would like to spend their extra money for such facility.

p/s: I have a question to ask. A simple question and you don’t have to scratch your head to answer this question. The question goes like this: If you have extra $100 every month from you salary and you want to spend it badly, which one would you purchase:

1.    ASTRO (Family package + mini packages + Sports) = RM59.95; or

2.    STREAMYX (Streamyx 1.0Mbps with 1.0Mbps download speed and 384kbps upload speed with MODEM) = RM99

Happy answering!!!

superior or supremacy ? what does these two words mean to you? does it sound frightening or does it help to boost your self-esteem?

if the former, than you must have gone through a very bad experience of discrimination. if the latter, i presume you must have taste the sweetness of power and glory and now you hesitate to let it go.

but morally, how do we interpret such understanding?…